Got Quads?

As I look back at 2008, I can’t believe what a hectic, busy, wonderful year it has been. Still, like all parents out there, I’m sure there are some things I could have done different. New Year’s resolutions aren’t meant to set us up for failure. Instead, they’re intended to help us better ourselves, our families and our lives.

Resolve to:

• Spend more time with your family

Surely we can all add a few more minutes to the quality time we spend with our spouses and our children. Take an extra five minutes at bed time and read “just one more book.” Those are the moments your children will remember down the road. Turn off the TV a few minutes before you go to bed and really listen when you ask your spouse/significant other how his/her day was.

• Let the little things slide

One of my daughters decided she really needed a cookie after breakfast this morning. She ate all of her waffles, so why not? Some days my daughters want popsicles after breakfast. OK. It’s not hurting anyone. Have fun, be spontaneous, give in to your children’s whims on occasion. (Although truth be told I did draw the line this morning when one of my girls asked if she could wear a bathing suit today. Just a tad too cold for that one).

• Say “I love you” and show affection

I tell my daughters I love them every night when I tuck them in… but why leave it at that? Tell your children and spouses you love them throughout the day. Everyone needs to know they’re loved.

Here’s to the good things to come in 2009. Cheers!

Whether you’re trying to get out of the house with one toddler or four, there are certain things you can keep in your car to make your errands easier.

• Hand sanitizer

Keep some in your purse, your glove compartment, somewhere. I prefer the foaming spray versus the traditional gel. The foam doesn’t slide off small hands quite as fast, giving them a chance to rub it in.

• Disinfectant wipes

Many grocery stores where I live have wipes near the entrance for shopping carts. The supply always seems to be empty when I shop. I’ve learned to carry my own, which comes in handy at stores that don’t typically provide wipes. I wipe the shopping cart handles off even when I’m shopping sans kids.

• Plastic bags

The bags you get at the grocery store have a multitude of uses. First of all, they make great trash bags. They also make great barf bags if you have a motion sick traveler. I also use them to store soiled clothes from a motion sick traveler until we are near a washing machine.

• Hand vac

There’s nothing quite as messy as stepping on stray crackers. Since we’re on the go a lot during the week I tend to give my girls a snack in the car, but it can be messy. We’ve got a hand vac that plugs in to the cigarette lighter and does a pretty good job of cleaning up crumbs.

• A fun CD

My daughters really enjoy singing along to nursery rhymes. Our favorite CD right now is a sing-along-disc of Fisher Price “Little People.” I get a kick out of hearing my girls giggle through the songs. It makes our drive-time go a lot faster.

Some parents of multiples like to leave a diaper bag and change of clothes in their vehicle. I would rather be forced to pack those prior to each outing to make sure I have the necessary supplies. There’s nothing quite as frustrating as reaching in to your diaper bag to find out you used up all the wipes during your last trip.

I recently saw a commercial for an urgent care clinic in which a busy mom looks at her calendar and says “I don’t have time to be sick.” She may have been an actress, but her point hits too close to home.

After a week of feeling rundown with laryngitis, a sore throat and congestion I made a trip to the doctor. The diagnosis: an upper respiratory infection. The remedy: plenty of rest. Hmm…. just when am I supposed to fit that in?!

Maybe I could rest on the two days a week my 4 3-year-olds are in preschool. I’m sure I can manage to do that somewhere between getting them all dressed, fed, loaded in the car and dropped off. Except after I drop them off I need to do their laundry (laundry day for them occurs 3 days a week or I’ll never keep up with the work). Then I’m back in the car rushing to pick them up and get them home for lunch. Guess those days are out.

Could I rest on the day one of my daughters has physical therapy? Well, I’ll see if I can pencil that in sometime after I take the other 3 to daycare so I can be involved in the therapy session. In all we’re gone 3  hours that day. Did I mention I do all the other household laundry that day, too? OK, so no rest that day.

I can’t rest the three days a week I work my part-time job, either. So that leaves me one day in which I can “rest” or spend time with my family without running myself ragged. You tell me which you would choose. Guess I’ll just have to fight this bug a little longer.

It has to be hard to be a multiple when you have a sick sibling. It’s no fair watching one sister get mom and dad’s undivided attention. I think that’s why my daughters have recently started telling me each morning that they’re sick. Every time a bug works it’s way through our house I inevitably have to be a detective to determine who is truly sick. Does your tummy hurt? Does your throat hurt? No? Ok then what seems to be the problem? Oh you want to snuggle and eat a popsicle. Understandable. Since this is the first year my daughters have been in preschool I feel like we’re welcoming a new illness in to our home every week. So my New Year’s Resolution is this: when one is sick I need to make sure everyone gets attention… we’ll see how that works out.

Sorry I’ve been MIA. Being sick over the holidays is no fun, yet seems to be another one of my holiday traditions (anyone remember the kidney stone of Christmas ‘92??) Anyway, thought I would share another quick and easy recipe from my arsenal.

Cheeseburger Pie

You’ll need:

1 lb. ground beef or ground turkey

1 large onion, chopped

1/2 tsp. salt

1 c. shredded cheddar cheese

1/2 c. Bisquick (I prefer the low-fat version)

1 c. milk

2 eggs

cook beef/turkey and onion until meat is brown; drain; stir in salt; spread in pie plate; sprinkle with cheese; stir remaining ingredients in a small bowl; pour in pie plate; bake uncovered at 400 for 30-35 minutes

Enjoy!

Whether your children are 3 or 30, it’s never too late to start creating holiday traditions. My fondest Christmas memories aren’t about the gifts (except for the year I got the Cabbage Patch Kid I had been begging for). Instead, my best memories are about the fun we had doing the simplest things.

Your traditions don’t have to be complex. In my family it’s a tradition to break out the board games after a holiday meal. The year Pictionary came out you could probably hear our laughter a mile away. We were huddled around my grandmother’s dining room table late into the night playing the game. It was at that moment I realized my family lacks artistic talent. This year my daughters are receiving Candyland and Chutes and Ladders . I truly hope it’s the beginning of many silly memories to come.

It was also tradition in my family to have a special cinnamon roll breakfast on Christmas morning. We would order a Christmas tree or candy cane made out of cinnamon rolls from a local bakery. Then, after the gifts were open we would stuff our faces. The cinnamon roll breakfast isn’t quite as fancy in my house. I bake Pillsbury cinnamon rolls and top them with green sprinkles for the Christmas tree effect. It’s the one time each year my daughters get a breakfast solely based on sugar. Seeing their faces covered with icing is priceless.

Start making your memories now.

Yesterday one of my daughters told me she wants to be a princess. Sleeping Beauty to be exact.This reminded me of a recent conversation I had with another mom: who is better for our daughters~Barbie or the Disney Princesses ?

I’m not talking about the Barbie of my day, which some people found offensive. You know, the blonde hair, blue-eyed, big breasted doll whose proportions would never fly on a human. Today’s Barbie is a little more bland, a little less busty and a  lot more independent. I recently watched a Barbie movie with my daughters. Ken was no where to be found. Yes, this Barbie had a romantic interest, but rather than waiting for him to bail her out of trouble Barbie was right there working with him to find a resolution. Coupled with the “We Girls Can Do Anything” motto of the “old” Barbie and this gal has turned into one tough cookie.

But still, one of my daughters wants to be a princess. This is partly my fault, as I’ve somewhat crammed Disney Princesses down their throats. When trying to find a theme in which to decorate their room I found a wall border with four of the princesses: quite a coup when you’re decorating a room for quadruplet girls. My daughters can identify Cinderella , Sleeping Beauty, Belle , Snow White , Jasmine and the Little Mermaid… all female characters who tend to wait around to be rescued. One mom pointed out to me that Mulan is pretty tough, but you don’t see her featured on the princess products.

My ultimate feeling is if my daughters want to play with Barbie or dress up like a Disney princess, so be it. Who says you can’t be feminine and tough? As someone with a box full of Barbies in her basement I can tell you I didn’t pay attention to Barbie’s looks. Instead, playing with Barbie was all about being creative and making up stories with her. So my daughters like pink and like to wear dresses? Big deal. Down the line they’ll still learn from their father and from me how to be independent young ladies. They’ll know how to use tools, change a tire , use a lawn mower. They can still do all those things in heels and party dresses… right?!

When my daughters were first born there was one question I became accustomed to hearing from strangers once they found out I have quadruplets: “Was it natural?” For some reason when you’re the parent of higher order multiples your fertility (or lack of it) is fair game. But recently the “popular” question no longer has to do with how I conceived my daughters. Instead, everyone wants to know whether I watch “Jon and Kate Plus 8.”

Have I seen the show? Yes, but let’s get something straight right now… just because you have seen the show doesn’t mean you know anything about my life. I was at the zoo recently with my family and as I walked by a woman she actually said to me “You’ve got nothing on the Gosselins.” Hey, I give them credit. I can’t imagine the challenges and struggles they face as they raise a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. Kudos to them. But what you see on TV is not a reflection of the life all families of multiples live. We don’t all have our own TV shows and go on to earn money as motivational speakers. When I take my children to amusement parks and the likes I have to pay because I’m not being trailed by a TV crew. My husband and I have never been offered a free trip to Hawaii to renew our wedding vows… but we would certainly jump at the chance.

I know I sound bitter, but I swear I’m not. I think it’s great that a show like “Jon and Kate…” exists. Their life may not reflect mine but at least people are getting a glimpse into the world of higher order multiples. We all have our struggles but none of us would trade it for the world. I’ve actually learned some things from the Gosselins. While watching an episode about the sextuplets’ birthday, Kate talked about how the family sings “Happy Birthday” to each child individually. We tried that when my daughters turned 3 and it was a wonderful thing. They each felt special.

So, it’s great if you watch “Jon and Kate…” but the next time you see a family of multiples out and about keep your snarky comments to yourself.

I think every parent, whether they have multiples or not, struggles with this one: How do you make sure all of your children feel loved? It’s a question I ask myself on a daily basis. It has to be hard to be 3-years-old and have to share everything: toys, clothes, a bedroom, your parents. I often hear my daughters say to one another “No, that’s my mommy.”

My husband and I have tried to find ways to make each girl feel special. For awhile they took turns staying up just a little later than the others on Saturday nights. It was a great way for us to see their personalities on a one-on-one basis. They each had different things they liked to do: one of them would only sit on the couch and snuggle with us, one thought it was great that she had all the toys all to herself. When we have quick errands to run we try to take one of them with us. There’s nothing more fun than getting out of the house by yourself with mommy or daddy. During our nightly story-time we rotate who sits on mommy or daddy’s lap. They think it’s a real treat to be the person helping turn the pages.

The biggest thing we do, that every parent should do, is make sure we hug and kiss our daughters each night and tell each girl that we love her. Children need to know that they are each special and unique and they need us to remind them of that on a regular basis. Find ways to make your child feel special each and every day.

Some days I feel my basement is simply a storage area for baby gear. We’re slowly selling the stuff we don’t need, but it’s barely making a dent in the pile. How much stuff do you need with quadruplets? Here are my recommendations: (I’ll do a “Best of…” later to share my favorites)

2 bouncy seats

2 swings (preferably portable)

2 exersaucers

2 high chairs (we fed our babies two at a time, if you want to feed all four at a time then you need 4 high chairs)

2 double strollers

1 quadruplet stroller (I didn’t use mine a lot because it was heavy, but it was so nice to be able to take my girls out for a walk around the block)

1 large pitcher for mixing formula or storing breast milk

1 ½ days worth of bottles (even if you breast feed you’ll want these on hand so others can occasionally give bottles while you rest)

4 cribs (I know there are many out there who like co-bedding, but my daughters slept so much better when we stopped co-bedding and gave them their own space)

1 changing table (some people would rather have 2, one upstairs and one downstairs but I never tried that)

1 cool mist vaporizer per baby bedroom

1 baby tub

4 portable cribs (we had these set up in our living room, so even if you don’t plan on traveling, they’ll certainly come in handy)

I know I’ve left out the little things, but this is a pretty comprehensive list of the big items you’ll need with four babies.