Got Quads?

When my daughters were babies I could easily, so to speak, hold all four of them at once. Maybe easy isn’t the right word, but if everyone was fussing I could position myself on the couch in a way that all four had some “mommy space.”  Heck, for awhile there I could carry them up and down the steps two at a time. Now they’re (gasp) toddlers and my lap just isn’t big enough for all four of them.

Oh, don’t get me wrong… they try to squeeze on to my lap all at once. I can manage one on each leg and two squashed on either side of me, but four is just no longer possible.

I don’t know if this is typical of all three-year-olds, but now, more than ever, my daughters want to be held. They’re in that stage where they think there’s nothing better than snuggling with mommy or daddy. Once they figured out what “up” meant, there was no turning back. I’m all for a good snuggle, but sometimes I need to be reminded that this phase won’t last forever.

The other day one of my daughters was in the midst of a raging tantrum. Take your pick, they each have their bad days. With no other resolution to think of, I picked her up and started snuggling with her on the couch. All the while my mind was racing with the things I needed to get done (dinner, baths, preparing for work the next day). I told her I need to put her down and she said “No, mommy, I need a few minutes.” I waited a few minutes and asked if she was done. “No,” she said “I just need a few minutes.” Then it hit me: why make mundane chores a priority over her need to be held. So I hugged her tight and we sat there for about 15 minutes. Eventually she moved my arms, got up and said “OK, I feel better.” 

In the days that have followed, any time she needs some hugs she has come up to me and said “I need a few minutes.” It has made me realize mommy needs to take a few minutes to appreciate how loving her daughters can be. I still haven’t figured out how to go back to holding all four of them at once, but for now they seem to be content taking turns… as long as everyone gets a few minutes.

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