Got Quads?

I’m always amazed by the money put into Mother’s Day gifts. Oh moms are important and deserve every penny spent on them… but what I want doesn’t cost much. Sure, I would enjoy a nice bauble or two, but what I really want is a fun day with my family. Hubby works Monday through Friday, I work Thursday through Saturday. That leaves us just one day together and often times it’s spent doing chores. I know Hubby will let me sleep in, which is one of the best gifts ever. One day a week to sleep past 6am or 7am gives me the energy I need to get through the week. Every Sunday Hubby makes pancakes for our daughters, so I’ve requested strawberry pancakes for Mother’s Day. Other than that I just want to have fun, which likely means sidewalk chalk and tricycles, followed by a bubble bath (for our daughters, not me). Would a diamond bracelet be nice? Oh yeah… but I’m content hanging with my family instead. So all you moms: what do you want most for Mother’s Day?

We’re getting to the point where my daughters can understand that when you play with toys or make a mess someone has to clean it up. Slowly but surely they’re starting to take on small responsibilities.

In the morning when I wake them up I ask them to “make their beds.” Usually they just pull the covers up, but it still counts for something. At night we’ve started asking them to put their toys away. There are still plenty of things for Hubby and I to put away after they go to bed, but I don’t expect them to do a perfect job. Heck, some nights I don’t put everything away.

Roo has taken an interest in the cats, so it has become her job to help feed them. One cat, Elwood, is on a special diet, so he has to eat in the laundry room. Roo will tell me if Elwood is standing at the door begging for food, then she’ll help put the bowl on the floor for him. 

Many mornings all four girls want to help unload the dishwasher. After I put the knives away I’ll let them hand me different things. In all this time we’ve only had one dropped (and broken) glass. 

Eventually they’ll need to take on more responsibilities, but for now I’m satisfied with the effort they make to help out.

Giving your children choices is a great way to develop speech. Instead of letting my daughters point at something I would encourage them to say what they wanted. It also is helping them with their colors. At mealtimes they get to pick what plate they want based on their arrival order at the table. If you’re the first one at the table you have four plates from which to choose, so you need to know your colors.

Unfortunately, we still have some work to do. A few days ago I took my daughters to the retail store where I work part-time. The store manager gave them each a bite-size Milky Way, which I told them they could have after lunch (no, I’m not above bribery. If you eat your lunch you receive a small piece of candy). When we came home I found out they each had a small lollipop in their backpack from school. After lunch they chose: lollipop vs. chocolate. They all chose lollipop (What????) Then Cakes and I had the following conversation.

Cakes: Mommy, can I have my chocolate now?

Me: No, honey, you had a lollipop. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to have chocolate.

Cakes: Oh… I changed my mind. I don’t want my lollipop.

Now there’s a girl after my own heart… change your mind after you eat the candy.

When you’re outnumbered four toddlers to two parents, discipline is key. Hubby and I make every effort to be firm and consistent. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to discipline our daughters without laughing when they come up with gems like these:

Me: Why did you just bite your sister?

Cakes: I thought she might bite me so I bit her first.

(See, they’re already figuring out how to use self-defense)

Me: Sue-Sue you need to get out of the baby doll bed right now.

Sue-Sue: No, I’m using it as a boat.

Me: It’s not a boat. It’s for dolls. You’ll break it…. Sue-Sue, get out… Thank you. Now if you get back in there you lose your shoulder ride tonight and I won’t give you a warning.

Sue-Sue: I want a warning. Pleeeeeease. Pleeeeease give me a warning. Mommy can I have a warning?? Don’t take away my warning.

(We have a few silly routines at bedtime, such as a shoulder ride through the hallway. If you behave all day you’re allowed to participate in the various silliness. Apparently Sue-Sue thought “warning” was a name for one of our games.)

My all time favorite moment of toddler logic happened one day after school. The preschool teacher told me about an “incident” with Sue-Sue. At snack time all of my daughters were given water while the rest of the class had juice. I had asked the teachers not to give them apple juice because of the “consequences” later, but the teachers thought I asked them not to give my daughters any juice. Roo, Cakes and Tortilla drank their water. Sue-Sue chucked her cup across the room. When I had some alone time with her our conversation went like this:

Me: Did you throw your glass of water at school today?

Sue-Sue: Yes (What?? She didn’t blame Notme? What a breakthrough)

Me: Why?

Sue-Sue: I didn’t want water. I wanted juice. I said please.

Made sense to me. That’s not to say that we didn’t have a conversation about why you don’t throw your cup, but it’s hard to argue when they’re using the lessons you taught them (such as saying please). Sure we still have a lot to work on, but we’ll get there. In the meantime I’ll just have to turn my head so they don’t see me laughing.

This has been going on for awhile and it makes me a little sad. Tortilla mainly calls me “mom” rather than “mommy.” I know, no big deal. The reason it bothers me is because it means my little girl is growing up. She’s only three and a half. Her sisters still call me mommy. I’ve even tried correcting her and saying “no…mommy.” She says “no…mom.” Lately the only time she calls me mommy is when she’s sad or scared. I think I was in sixth grade before I stopped calling my mom “mommy.” Tortilla (and all her sisters) still likes to snuggle and dole out hugs, so I guess it’s not all bad. When she stops doing that I won’t know what to do with myself.

Soon after my daughters were born, other parents always said to me “wait until they hit the terrible two’s.” I’ve heard so much about that phase by the time their second birthday rolled around I held my breath. Here it comes. But nothing too bad happened. Then I thought that since my daughters were born nearly three months premature I needed to wait awhile. Still nothing. Sure, we had a few meltdowns along the way, but when my daughters learned a few words (”up”) and signs (”hungry,” “milk,” and “more”) those tantrums were few and far between. I patted myself on the back and laughed at the “terrible two’s.” Then they turned three and all heck broke loose. Whoever coined the phrase “terrible two’s” must have been in a world of hurt when their child turned three.

It’s not that my daughters are “terrible,” so to speak. They are just ready to push the limits. “No” is a common part of their vocabulary. They want to be independent, but when they want help they want it right now. They won’t take no for an answer, such as “no, do not stand on the back of the couch.” Instead, they need explanations: “If you stand on the back of the couch you might fall and get hurt.” The tantrums are more frequent and the causes can vary. It’s no longer an issue of communication. One day Roo was having a crying fit. When I finally got to the bottom of it I found out she was upset over something that had happened hours ago in school.They don’t want to listen. They’re still figuring out what it means to tell a fib.

Yet despite all its frustrations, three is a fun age. They still want to snuggle. They still fight over who will sit on mommy’s lap. They still think it’s fun to sing songs in the car. They get excited when we see bunnies while taking a walk in our neighborhood. They laugh at Hubby’s bad jokes.

Every age has its challenges. Some days it’s easier, some days it’s harder. I wonder what’s in store for us when my girls turn four.

In the comment section of yesterday’s post , Maryanne brought up a good point about the “interesting” outfits children tend to put together when they dress themselves. I like to think my daughters are preparing for a career in the fashion industry. They’re just ahead of the times.

It used to be easy getting my daughters dressed. They would pick either their Dora shirt, Elmo shirt or a dress. It didn’t matter what dress as long as it was a dress. Now things are little more complex.

We now have two different Elmo shirts and for some reason one of them just doesn’t stack up to the other. I don’t see why not. The shirt they don’t like even has Abby Cadabby on it!

Tortilla does not want to leave the house unless she has on her sparkly red dress shoes. It doesn’t matter what else she’s wearing, in her mind those shoes complete the outfit. It’s not easy convincing a 3-year-old those shoes are not appropriate for preschool.

Sue-Sue would be content if she could wear pajamas every day. Most mornings she asks to stay in her pj’s. She can’t understand why I make her get dressed if we’re leaving the house.

Cakes wants shorts and t-shirts year-round. I don’t think she’s hot. I think she just gets bored of her winter clothes. 

Roo is fairly easy-going. Unfortunately there’s one pink shirt with flowers which she has claimed. Look out if you’re the person unlucky enough to try to wear it.

During the winter I would make them wear pants with their dresses. Clearly we didn’t get out of the house much. Now they only want to wear pants with their dresses. It took every ounce of energy I had to convince my daughters they could not wear jeans underneath their pretty red velvet dresses on Christmas Eve. I caved on Christmas day and let them not only pick the dresses they wore (sundresses, so I made them wear long sleeved shirts underneath) I also let them wear pants. Let’s just say we have some “interesting” photos from that day.

It’s not that I really mind what they’re wearing. I’m all for letting them experiment. Eventually they’ll figure out polka dots and stripes aren’t typically a good pair. I just don’t want them looking at pictures years from now blaming me for their outfits.

I figure I’m in good company. Most parents go through this phase at some point. I know one day I’ll be out running errands with my daughters when we’ll pass another little girl in a “creative” outfit. I’ll just give her mother a knowing smile as we pass by in our dresses and pants.

I should have known the day would come when my daughters would assert their independence. In some ways it’s a good thing. Other days it really just slows us down.

All four of them want to help with the dressing/undressing process. I don’t have a problem with that. They’re old enough to be involved in their personal care. Yet some days I want to pull my hair out. This morning Sue-Sue insisted on doing everything herself, but she put her shirt on over her nightgown. Cakes put her socks on, but then became upset when she realized they were inside out.

Most of the time I humor them. You want to put your coat on without any help from me? Even though we needed to leave five minutes ago for preschool? Fine, but I know I’ll end up helping when the coat ends up backwards or upside down. However, some times I have to draw the line. When we took a walk the other day the girls wanted to cross the street to look at someone’s Easter decorations. OK. No one wanted to hold hands while crossing the street. Not OK. I explained to them why we had to hold hands (to be safe) and they all agreed to do it.

It’s bittersweet watching my daughters become independent little girls. I’m glad they’re learning to do more things for themselves. But where did my little babies go????

At some point every parenting magazine has an article devoted to picky eaters. The articles tend to have the same strategy: just keep trying. As frustrating as it can be, there’s actually some truth to that method.

With four toddlers I knew I was bound to have a picky eater. Oh sure, as babies my daughters ate anything and everything Gerber had to offer. Yet, give them that same food in its real form (think squash and peas) and they wanted nothing to do with it. 

I had to become creative. I mixed peas into their macaroni and cheese. I hid turkey in their quesadillas. I shredded carrots into their spaghetti sauce. Being sneaky paid off to some extent.

Then Sue-Sue decided she no longer liked macaroni and cheese. Huh? This is a staple in our house. I finally found “bunny” shaped macaroni and suddenly she just had to try it. Now she’ll eat macaroni regardless of the shape.

Vegetables have been my biggest challenge. Some days my daughters like them, some days they don’t. Cakes will eat just about any vegetable you give her. She enjoys vegetable pizza, too, but her sisters won’t touch it. A few times a week I’ll put a baby carrot on everyone’s plate or a few slices of cucumber with a side of dressing. This has helped me get over the vegetable obstacle one veggie at a time.

When I know I’m going to introduce a new food, I’ll typically make it for Hubby and me first. Then I’ll let my daughters have a bite or two. If it goes over well then I know I can make it for them and they’ll actually try it. If they don’t seem interested, I wait a few weeks and try again.

It shouldn’t surprise me that my daughters have picky tendencies. I was very adamant about what I would and would not eat when I was growing up. Mushrooms? blech. Zucchini? No way. Squash? Huh-uh. I still don’t care for mushrooms but I live for grilled zucchini or acorn squash. 

It’s all trial and error and I don’t expect my daughters to each have the same likes and dislikes. Sue-Sue likes cucumbers. Roo won’t touch them. Tortilla always asks for carrots, but ends up spitting them out. Cakes, well, like I mentioned, she hasn’t found a vegetable she didn’t like. So if you have a picky eater, have some patience and hopefully you’ll slowly find new foods your child will enjoy.

We had every intention of going to church this morning. Yet, it just didn’t happen. Instead all four girls ended up climbing in our bed, and a few of the cats jumped on, too. Tortilla and Sue-Sue thought it was fun to take over Hubby’s pillow, essentially pushing him off the bed. Then we started talking about pancakes and I knew it would be a slow, relaxing morning.

All four girls found their Easter baskets and immediately wanted to eat their chocolate bunnies. So much for breakfast. Somehow I managed to put the bunnies on the counter and convinced the girls to eat breakfast first. Now I must go enjoy the family (and the chocolate). Have a great day everyone. I hope you all have some time set aside to spend with your family.